Thursday, 20 August 2015
Such a waste of resources
My house is part of an open house event organized in the little town I live in. I will not mention the name of the event, so to not spill any of this rather otiose matter upon this charming and lovely event. It is widely popular and I had almost thousand guests last year when I was involved for the first time. All of the visitors to my house showed great respect and they were all friendly, kind and warm.
Except for one person.
The ex-wife. She informed me by sms that she would like to visit my home. Asked if it was ok. At the time I tried to be kind towards her, even though she had made my life rather difficult and ugly by all sorts of rules regarding where I was allowed to be, walk and whom I was allowed to talk to. Seriously. We agreed upon so many absurd demands from her. I thought at the time that part of her behaviour did smell a lot like stalking, but I was too exhausted to do anything about it. So I responded to her sms, that I didn't think it was wise of her to visit my house and that this was not the platform for a meeting nor would I be able to speak to her. She instisted she wanted to come and threatend by writing she would come, regardless of what I said, as she had a right to enter any of the open houses as she had a ticket.
I was too tired to argue the matter with her. And did not know as a first timer, that that is utter bullshit. She has absolutely no right to enter my house without my consent. As the owner of the house, I get to choose who enters.
So, she did arrive and she made such an awful dramatic show of it all, she even hugged me and soon wrote about it in her blog, as to show and tell everyone what a generous person she is, she wrote it herself in her blog, "jag är en storsint människa". That she has hugged me. Makes me sick when I even think about that awful day. That is not generous. That is forcing others to your will. It is utter abuse.
Due to her behaviour since, we do not trust that she will not play this ugly stunt on me again. Even though I have written to her and told her that she is not welcome to my home during this open house event. I have gone through what happened last year, shown her messages and sms regarding this matter to the organizers and they thought it wiser to provide my house with a guard, with the right to stop her from entering the premises.
But, I think it is such a bloody waste of resources. The guards should be in places where there is real need. I do need a guard as I will never again let this person into my home and she cannot be trusted. She has lured her way into my home once, and we need to make sure it will NEVER happen again.
She has regularly since their separation and divorce reported on her blog and facebook-page, where we have been seen, what we do etc. Due to the fact that I appear regularly on her blog, I have been the target for internet-trolls and hatemail. She carries no responsability for this, she only states her right to write about her feelings. And plays the innocent victim.
I have asked her (several times) not to write about me, that I do not wish to appear on her blog, so she no longer uses my name, she refers to me as her ex-husband's new love (and by this nobody guesses who she refers to, where is her logic????).
The one thing I am thankful for, is that the renovation of my home was far from ready last year, so her presence has not left any vivid memory, rooted in any room. And all the other almost thousand friendly and generous persons who payed a visit, they left kind and suportive words, that I never wanted to wash away nor wish to fade away.
This year, my home is almost ready. I shall welcome every visitor with open arms. And this year I will not be abused nor forced to hug people I have no respect for.
I feel priviledged to be part of this lovey event, even though some of the resources, in my opinion, are beeing wasted due to this matter. I'm glad I have finally managed to create boundaries against internetbullies. It is about time!
The chair above, is a picture taken by me, the almost identical image can be found on her blog last year and the facade to my house. I shall not link to her blog, as she also uses statistics as a measure for why she has a right to write about me. Her blog has been rated a hateblog due to her washing her dirty laundry in public and several rasist posts. One does sometime wonder why, why write lies and why constantly balance on the border of what is politically correct, what is ethicly right, not to mention, morally? Why does one get kicks from beeing provocative. The reason lies in statistics. Provocative texts attracts readers. Attentionseekers christmaspresent.
A divorce is never an easy matter, but it surely doesn't become easier when you go public about assumptions and utter lies.
This shall be the last post about this matter to ever appear on my blog. She was a thorn in my side, but due to creating these and other boundaries alike, the thorn is finally gone!
Edit 21.8.2015. The ex-wife has only once appeared on my blog, I have written about her once. Here. It is called Black cloud.