Happy New Year dear dear friends!
A small travelicon by Tarja Juusontytär.
We had guests over the new year.
The weather turned more winterish as the year came to a close. We enjoyed a glass of sparkling under the spectacular fireworks, provided by the city down by the shore at 6 p.m.
Before the fireworks, there was programme for families. As one of our guests is a a little toddler , a 2½year old, she got to ride a wagon with a pony. Very exciting.
We then headed back home were we prepared dinner. We had toast Skagen (made with crawfishtails) and a salad with cherry tomatoes, smoked salmon, roasted nuts, soft goats cheese, home made vinaigrette sauce topped with pomegranate. We then made lots and lots of waffles with whipped cream and raspberry jam. Until we just could not eat any more!
At midnight we stepped outside, stood on the terrace and we were spoiled yet again with remarkable fireworks, this time by people living in our neighborhood.
Now onto another topic.
When we have guests, I don't want to be the first one to place a mobile phone on the table. Some studies say that the presence of a phone, or the fact it is in mere sight, changes the level of conversation and presence. That we keep the topics as such, so it doesn't matter if we are interrupted. I have noticed the same.
It so seems that our guests and friends seem to be alike, not sure if it is because we prefer to spend time together over documenting every single move. I love taking pictures, but I don't want to loose out on the actual moment.We did talk about this phenomena, that sometimes you get a feeling that certain people do things mainly in order to be able to show pics on social media, rather than enjoying the walk or the dinner or the travels...
It is similar to what it is to be present. I've studied mindfulness for many years and use it regularly in my work. It fascinates me. And it is something that we need to practice even more now.
When I go through what it means to be heard, with my students, many actually reflect upon having been asked the right and correct questions, but that there seldom is a situation where the other person really listens to the answer. Or is even remotely interested in the answer. Meaning, asks follow up questions related to your answer. It is easily done, not because we don't care, but we're too busy doing other things simultaneously, or are in our minds elsewhere...
Ask yourself, do you know what your spouse or your mum or your sister dreams of? Or is it something you just think you know. To find out what they really dream of, you can't just ask directly, because then the answer will be of the sort that could be easily predicted by anyone, you know, a new phone, a new house, a trip abroad. What they really dream of, you can only find out with time, when you stop trying to figure out what to answer, when you show that you really are interested in hearing. It may take a long time, but slowly the outcome of words, the pauses, the gazes, the hmmms, the looking for words, will be of most genuine sort. I also think it has to do with self esteem to a certain point. That you can forget about focusing only on yourself and paying a bit more attention on hearing what your near and dear ones are saying, what they think about, what they wonder about.
The travelicon above is by a lovely artisan Tarja Juusontytär. It is made of tin, she makes the most beautiful articles of tin. I have a cornerlantern of hers aswell and a few other small bits and pieces. Here is a picture of the cornerlantern, from the beloved shoebox. Tarja can be found on facebook or here.