Thursday, 11 February 2016
I have received a few messages regarding my blog.
Both refer to a blogpost some time ago, where I told I have studied tantra for many years. And how they wished I would write more about my tantric life, or lovelife. And they even expressed being slightly disappointed.
I am sorry to have to disappoint you even further, as I have no intention in writing about my lovelife.
My blog is not a sex-blog, and for me personally, I have never written about my intimate life, nor have I any interest in doing so. I think it is such a thin line between, writing about intimacy involving others and being naïve. I am not. I have no need in telling the world (yes, once it's out there, it can never be reversed) about my sex-, intimate- nor lovelife. I can every now and then, write about love and my love. But I don't think anyone is interested in how much or how I love, nor do I think my mister would feel more loved if I wrote about it here every day! I rather show my love for him in real life. I love him greatly and I am thankful and happy for the life I lead with him by my side.
I can tell you a few pieces of advice, the only thing I think is vital for a fantastic and loving lovelife is communication. Talk to each other, about dreams and thoughts, talk about sex, then there's much hope to be as intimate as one should be with a partner.
I know that for some it is not easy, but try it, it is so rewarding. The vital thing is to actually talk. It is so important to hear the pauses, the looking for words, to see what matters are those that you feel insecure or vulnerable about. True intimacy also means showing your vulnerability.
There is also nothing more sad and unapproachable than a partner talking demeaning about themselves. People have body-issues and self-hatred, but it is very hard for a partner to listen to. So if you have these sort of issues, I recommend working on these issues. Life is here to be enjoyed, not spent hating yourself! We are all worth loving relationships and partners that shower us with praise. If you are living in a relationship were you have to hide yourself, cover yourself or protect yourself from jealousy, harsh words or critique, then it might be time to either gather your courage to stand up against or maybe it is time to move on. Or if that is the way you behave towards your partner, then it most certainly is time to think what on earth you are doing. Jealousy is never a healthy sign. It is also part of something larger called psychological violence. Jealousy has got nothing to do with love.
Nobody should ever think nor talk demeaning about themselves. If you do, please stop. Please try to see yourself the way others see you. You are beautiful! Don't you ever ever ever forget that!
People who enjoy themselves, enjoy their bodies and their sexuality are really sexy! And sexy has got nothing to do with looks, size, weight or stereotypical beautystandards.
I also want to state that I think it is fully normal, to have a loving good relationship without having sex. But that also takes communication. So that it is a mutual agreement or understanding. There is nothing more awful than not communicating about this. It increases risk of misunderstanding and wrong powerstructures.
I am sure there are plenty tantric blogs out there, it might be worth first getting to know what you are looking for. Unfortunately I cannot recommend any.
Enjoy and love! And thank you for getting in touch about this matter.