Friday, 8 April 2016

Dear blog

There's so much you don't know.

How a visit from my brother changed the kitchen door. Previously I used to have to push gently with my bum when opening the door, now I just use the handle, like normal people.

How the rain makes wonders to the garden. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with s.
There's small green sprouts everywhere! And today when we had afternoon coffee on the terrace, I spotted something blue next to the green. I love this time of the year. I love the spring rains. I love the sun, how it makes everything come a little more awake, a little more open.

How alive I felt this morning when I cykled to work, by the harbour.  When I had to climb a long uphill, cykling in standing position, my thighs felt the heavy climb. We took another route home, a sandroad along the shore. We passed a small village, and had to climb many small uphills again. In standing position. Almost getting out of breath at the top! We cykle a lot together, my mister and I.

How I have waited for a film to premiere. Finally tonight we saw Sufragette. Please see it. I think it is the least we can do, to remember all the people, all the women and all the men, who fought for equality. For us to have a different life than theirs. We have come a long way, but there is still plenty to do, to make this world equal for all. Not just for us white middleclass women.

How I am seldom private, but at times personal on the blog. Well, this is a seldom time...
I came across a list of 13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married. I  read through the topics and didn't think more of it. Until earlier in the week when I mentioned it during a conversation we had about divorce. I remembered how I had a very interesting (and warm!) talk with the judge that sentenced my divorce. How she told me that she no longer had respect for marriage, as she had seen far too many nasty divorces. And that couples do not know what marriage de facto is. That it is more than just a fancy wedding, a status and a ring to symbolize that sought after status. And how so many couples divorced for economical reasons, that it was a surprise for the spouses that they were in fact obliged to provide for their spouses in case of unemployment or illness.
So, we talked about how it could be wise to talk through many or at least certain issues before tying the knot. So I looked up the 13 questions. And very spontaneously,  as we were about to sit down to talk about our day, we started to go through each question. We talked and we cried and we laughed and we held hands, we looked into each others' eyes, we sighed and we listened and talked even more. And by the time we had finished the last question, afternoon had turned into night and we had drunk many many cups of tea.

We are not planning to tie the knot, but we are very committed to this relationship and to each other. I do recommend reading the article, and if you are up for the challenge, take a question or two, and feel for yourself  how much closer you grow when you listen and talk to each other. Remember to respectfully listen to what your partner is saying.  

How happy this makes me, I made crochetflowers to my crochetcovered hangers. I love hanging my garments on pretty hangers.

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